If anyone has been in Kenya, then you know for a fact that our transport system is something out of this world: and by transport I mean the public service vehicles, especially matatus. (For those who do not know, matatus are the Nissan 14-seater p.s.v vans and also include a smaller version of Isuzu buses.) Ridiculous if not ridonkulous you ask me-yes, it even makes me come up with new vocabulary to try and describe it. This one time I got on one and had quite an experience that I even wrote about it on my phone. Enjoy the read:
Matatu's are like deviant little children on sugar highs, who are absolutely out of order. For some funny reason they think and act as if they own the world and their word/ actions is law. Today I got in one at Madaraka in bid to get to town soonest but lo! What lay ahead was a twist of the unexpected.
My dad had been so sweet; dropped me half way (T-mall) and I quickly walked to the stage thinking that it had all been a miracle because I was there by 3.30pm or so. My agenda was to run to hospital quickly get some tests done, dash to River Road to buy some materials and make it just on time for class. I stood waiting for a while at the stage before finally getting in one Rongai matatu. (I have to emphasize this because they among the most notorious p.s.v's.). I was elated when we approached the Uhuru Highway roundabout and thought that the rest of the jam would clear soon. However, after approaching the roundabout the driver went and joined the road to Industrial Area. To me, this was totally off route- I was going to town, what were we doing in Industrial Area?
I started trying to console myself that it was okay, everything would be alright. It was just a short cut and that we would eventually get to town. After a while I began to doubt it because first I had no clue where we were. Secondly the next thing I saw was South C/B(I still get confused about this areas to date) matatus and that we were near the Oilibya near Bellevue. That did not make sense.
"May be we'll get out on the Mombasa Road highway? But that doesn't make sense, it's like going backwards!" I told myself. I finally asked the conductor who re-assured me that the endpoint would be town. Phew! Breath of relief!
Now that I was sure that we were headed to town I became a bit more relaxed. Funny thing though, despite the fact that the driver was trying to avoid jam, he put us in 'thicker' jam. It was massive. Wait until all the matatus decided to break all the traffic rules. It was as if they were all waiting for a sign from the sky to announce that they could all go berserk. All matatus got off the roads and drove on pathways causing havoc for pedestrians and raising a lot of dust. The roads at this point looked as if circus animals had been let loose and were running wild on rampage. I was silently praying that the vehicle I was in would not follow suit but that did not happen. All those that had dozed off were abruptly woken up and were now clinging to the seats in front of them for dear life. It was kind of funny, but the not-so-funny joke was that after all that we did not really get anywhere. The driver's effort to steer clear of looming traffic ended us in worse jam; had he stuck to the original route, we would have probably already reached town.
After a whole lot of waiting, cars started moving and by the look of things we had somehow wound up at Jogoo Road. Too funny( half laughing, more of disbelief) How now? A Rongai van ending up in Jogoo when the target was town? That's like going East and ending West or South. It felt like one of those moments you feel like slapping the driver for being too adventurous at the cost of delaying you.
We soon ended up in Muthurwa Market and I began thinking of the bus that I had seen pass by while I was with my dad. Had I got into it I would have been in town an hour ago and finished my errands plus headed to class. Wishful thinking.
"Breathe, Relax. It's all good, we are now in town," I told myself but what the driver did was totally out of order! I scurried off the matatu and made a dash for it but what was evident was that I would be late for my class. As Mojo-Jojo would say- 'Curses'!!!....(you driver!!Nktutho)
Till the next time,
Theng'e: Signing Out!
HA HA!! Funny :)
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