Got the Guts?

It's amazing what people will put on internet, from tardy to downright disgusting. Ranging from pictures to videos to sounds-ah!It is so annoying. Recently I bumped into one of these and my oh my was I grossed out. The intention of this particular was good but it didn't help the fact that it was utterly disgusting!

Twas an informative piece warning women to wash their inner wears before wearing them. Gnarly. I thought I had the stomach to see it but boy wasn't I wrong. ( To see what I'm talking about check out http://jawbreaker88.wordpress.com/2011/09/26/wash-before-wearing. Be warned if you are not strong do not look at the pictures) So, my friend opened the site and we began to read the text. Actually it was me who opened the site-I was feeling all 'super hero'; nothing could get to me...but this. We read and of course there was a warning on the content; and after psyching each other up we looked. What followed next was a sight I knew I would never forget, and not in a nice way. Utterly disturbing (psychologically and mentally) pictures. SCREAM!!!!AAAAHH!!

I closed my eyes upon seeing the first picture and began regretting why I ever went to that site. I tried to forget it and block it but to no avail. My friend was also grossed out but she was stronger than me. Needless to say she laughed at me and thanked God that she could easily block out what she didn't want to remember.The image just kept playing and playing in my head like a broken record, on and on, 'Somebody make it stop!' As Mojo Jojo from the Power Puff Girls would say, 'Curses!!!!!'. ...for having such an imaginative mind. Next time you hear someone say 'Curiosity killed the cat,' listen lest you end up as the dead cat. In this situation, I was the 'sleek cat' that plummeted into the raging waters...and died. I acted all 'super hero' thinking that looking at the pics would not disturb me but I'm  paying for it now.

Lesson learnt: Don't you ever test the power of the mind. If you know you cannot handle something, do not bother with it. Leave it alone. Flee and flee fast because the mind can be impossible. It never, never forgets and you don't want to end up traumatised- wishing there was a way you could wash your brain and rid yourself of all the nasty things you've seen/ heard.

Till the next time: Theng'e signing out!

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

I don't know what it is with sin and man. It is like a bad love-hate relationship that exists worldwide.Sin is so ugly, so rotten yet we love what it brings (the offers) but at the same time hate the result of indulging. I don't understand it at all. Quite strange, if you ask me. It's like a magnet of some sort that attracts us yet in reality we are supposed to be repulsed if not repelled by it.How can something so bad look or feel so good? The reality is that it's so good, but only for a moment before guilt, regret, anxiety and torment kick in.  This reminds me of the first sin-story and I can't help but running back to my Bible in Genesis to check for when it came into existence: how it all started.

Devil deceives Eve through the snake, she uses peer pressure on  Adam and the result is a broken relationship between God. Worse still a new relationship rears it's ugly head on all humanity: a relationship with sin. This tragic shift of events causes a strain on man,; on one hand he has to a maintain a relationship with God while on the other side the Devil keeps trying to destroy it by making man cheat/ skunk on God. I still ask myself why God didn't just cut off sin as a whole. Create a system whereby man could exist in a loving relationship eternally( with Him) without the possibility of ever being drawn away. If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. Then again, who am I to question the great ways of the Almighty? Since when did the creation tell the Creator what to do? I guess that is where the difference between angels and man comes in. Angels were created to serve, love and glorify God-without choice, it's in their system while man was created to serve, love and glorify God- with choice. That is where the trick comes in.

Being given the gift of choice comes with  heavy responsibility. Where ordinarily we are drawn to flesh desires we need to make conscious decisions to do what is right. Not just because it right but because it what God wants. If it is what God wants and commands us to do as a show of love then it ought to be our devotion-to please God and steer clear from sin. It sounds easy in theory but in reality it is a struggle all people go through.

I hate the feeling after that comes immediately after sinning. It just drives the point home- the Devil is a liar. Let me try set  the scenario of how sin takes place. First of all sin will tend to creep in when you are idle. Doesn't the Bible say that an idle mind is the Devil's workshop? There you go. So you are doing nothing then a thought comes to mind. It may start as something totally harmless; tiny and then it soon builds up to something bigger than expected. The minds is an amazing thing. It can create anything it wants to or is allowed-there no restrictions, that is until we place them.  We toy around with the ideas about the 'big thought' soon start picturing the so called benefits of indulging. The 'big thought' will arouse all our senses and emotions: and convince us that indulging in 'the act' will bring satisfaction beyond comprehension. Then our conscience has a go at us. He begins to present the reality: dangers of indulging in 'the act' and the aftermath on the negative if not real side. We are so caught up on the good that we refuse the wise counsel of our conscience and begin shut him up. "Keep quiet. I know what I am doing. Besides, I will feel good, why wait? The effects are not really that bad-the good surpasses it. Just hush up and let me be," we say. The truth is that we know what we are about to do is bad, we simply try to downplay the gravity of it all. No sooner than we know we take the dive into the act; dive and plunge deep into sin.

 Almost immediately after soaring high and feeling good, realization sinks in (deep). We have sinned. The voice that was encouraging you to indulge in the act comes back but this time he is hitting us one blow after another. It hurts, it hurts so bad we feel like killing ourselves. "You are so stupid. Useless. Hopeless. You can't be helped. You keep messing up. You think God will forgive you let alone save you? Ha!Funny! How many times do you think He can forgive you?Even He gets tired and moreover disgusted. That's right, you are disgusting and you will always be disgusting. Failure-you can't do anything right. Waste of flesh! And you are supposed to be a leader/ example for others!So much for righteousness."  Such things continue to run through our heads and it keeps getting worse. We regret ever indulging but we can't turn back the time. We want to tell somebody but feel afraid to; because if we do we may be judged, scorned or hated: that would only cause more trauma to our already difficult situation. We also want to pray but it's so hard. We just stabbed God right in the heart. What re-assurance do we have that He will listen to us let alone forgive us?  We feel depressed, trapped and heavy laden. We know we have to pray but we're already so down. Where do we start? How? It's difficult.

 Well, I am here to encourage you. In the Bible, 1John 1:8 , it says, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us". We are all sinners. In Romans 3:23-24 it says, " ...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Not one, not two but all have sinned therefore nobody is perfect except for Christ..(Note, I am not saying this to justify us such that from now on we think it is okay to sin. It is not.) The only person who can save us, redeem us is Jesus Christ. He alone can save us;cleanse us and forgive us. It is not by our might or our strength but indeed by His grace, amazing grace (and the immense love He has for us). That,we need to remember. 1John 1:9 says," ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." So let us go before our Father, our God and talk to him for indeed we are guaranteed that He will listen to us. We need not worry over who to confess to for He is right there.

In summing it all up, I will leave us with Psalm 51.  Be encouraged!

Psalm 51

For the director of music. A psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba.

1Have mercy on me, O God,

according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion

blot out my transgressions.

2Wash away all my iniquity

and cleanse me from my sin.

3For I know my transgressions,

and my sin is always before me.

4Against you, you only, have I sinned

and done what is evil in your sight,

so that you are proved right when you speak

and justified when you judge.

5Surely I was sinful at birth,

sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

6Surely you desire truth in the inner parts^a;

you teach^b me wisdom in the inmost place.

7Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;

wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

8Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

9Hide your face from my sins

and blot out all my iniquity.

10Create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

11Do not cast me from your presence

or take your Holy Spirit from me.

12Restore to me the joy of your salvation

and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13Then I will teach transgressors your ways,

and sinners will turn back to you.

14Save me from bloodguilt, O God,

the God who saves me,

and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

15O Lord, open my lips,

and my mouth will declare your praise.

16You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;

you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.

17The sacrifices of God are^c a broken spirit;

a broken and contrite heart,

O God, you will not despise.

18In your good pleasure make Zion prosper;

build up the walls of Jerusalem.

19Then there will be righteous sacrifices,

whole burnt offerings to delight you;

then bulls will be offered on your altar.

Till the next time: Theng'e signing out!

Reference:

THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV®
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica.

For Those Special People In Our Lives

Tuesday 17^th January 2012. A good good day it was. I spent the day with friends and enjoyed myself thoroughly. I texted-something I do not do, played a cool spelling game and even went shopping for a bag. I also played so PS game; some military game that was so much fun. Yay!

Today’s piece is dedicated to those people we consider special and worth calling friends.  ‘Show me your friends and I will show you who (what) you are.’  Friendship is quite an intriguing thing, there is nothing like it. It is a highly involving relationship through which one’s character and personality is shaped (or so I believe). Moreover, it so complex for it touches on emotions to a huge extent. The tricky bit about this dynamic relationship is keeping it alive and making it work while ensuring that all parties feel loved, cared for and important.

 The other day a friend of mind called me up and caught me off guard. Whereas I had been expecting a warm greeting and a few nice short exchanges he got straight to business. He told me off for going silent on him and questioned me on our friendship: if there were any grave contentious issues or whether all was well and asked for an explanation as to why I had gone quiet. He sounded hurt and angry and I did not understand why, why so much emotion. 

His main outcry was that his long standing friend went quiet on him. This was a major grievance for over the past period of time we were used to communicating frequently and keeping tabs on each other. For me to suddenly go quiet (consistently) without reason or warning was absurd: strange to him.  There had to be a reason as to why his good friend went quiet without warning. On top of that he said he felt that it was as if he was making all the effort in keeping our friendship going and he was not sure what was happening. I took some time to think about all he said and tried looking at it through his eyes and understood it somewhat.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped putting effort into my friendships. I focused purely on those who I found important and those who reciprocated the friendship. Soon after I lost interest in making and keeping friendships alive and decided that those who considered me as a priority would treat me as such so I would not bother. Please do not mistake me for being a meanie or a 'don't-care'. Not at all: that was not the case. What it was was that I was tired; physically, emotionally and pocket-wise of investing in friendships. I had simply reached the point of giving up and carrying on with life: with or without my friends.

 For so long, I put so much into all my friendships. I would always go the extra mile, call just to know how my friends were doing or to share moments. In return what did I get? Diddly-squat. Nothing. People got used to me calling and never bothered to hola (back), in fact they used me. At least that is how I felt. I felt taken for granted and got tired, frustrated and went on a ‘strike’ of my own.

 For quite a while I may have put some of my friends on a shelf tucked away for later; that is communication wise. Some of them deserved it while others did not but it happened anyway. Back to my friend, I listened keenly and re-assured him that all was well. The difference in communication patterns was due to difference in stages of life- sometimes people need space; and also the money factor.  After our little talk it got me thinking about my other friends-good friends, true friends and wondered if they felt the same. I got challenged, decided to contact some friends randomly and check on them and see what the results would be.

Boy wasn’t I happy when most of them replied! I was not expecting that outcome; I simply hoped they would respond positively. Many felt touched and appreciated the show of concern. In fact, I ended up chatting with one old friend throughout the day and spend the rest of the day with three other awesome pals. The whole experience was refreshing, eye opening and brought a smile to my face. It also made me revise my stance on going quiet on people. From now on I would work on maintaining and keeping alive my friendships=at least those that mattered to me. That is to mean that I would make those who took me as a priority in their lives, as priority in mine.

 So what did I learn from all this? One, do not take anyone for granted. It hurts both ways. Two, be careful not to get so caught up that you do not have time for your friends. This could easily result in losing a dear friend or injuring a friendship due to silly reasons. Three, take time to appreciate those special people in your life. It won’t break your bones and who knows, you may also benefit one way or another from it i.e. a better or happier or closer friendship.  Last but not least, friends are important-man is not an island that he can survive on his own.

 So, to all those good people being awesome and true friends: and who never get to hear this- you are greatly appreciated. Know you are important and someone thanks God for you (You are a blessing!).

Till the next time: Theng’e signing out!

My Day With Me

Well, it is late into the night, in fact it has gone into morning. Honestly,I didn't feel like writing anything today (rather felt like writing but had no drive) but my devotion to consistency made me write. Today has been an okay day. Church was really good. The service leader/ m.c. did a great job which really challenged me. I'm supposed to service lead next week and I'm still getting the hang of it. Now that the bar has been  raised and quite high. Still in the process of  figuring out what angle to take so that it will be interesting, informative and inspirational if not challenging.

 

Dawamu High School made my day. Those kids have too much swag. Watching them dance and show off their moves was exciting and it was fun to dance along; at least try imitating their awesome moves. Of course I cannot forget the accapella group- 'Ladies and Gentlemen'!!!! Too awesome!People can really sing.

The whole experience was one of those that takes you back and makes you feel as if you were part of an awesome movie.

After church got to hang out with some pals. It has been so long since I did that! It was refreshing. Seeing old faces of people I consider dear was really special and brought back a lot of memories of 'back in the day'. :-) This is when there would be so many plans and hanging out was such a thrill.Times spent with friends was full of joy and laughter, silly things we would do and food( this was the main attraction. It didn't matter if your broke or not somehow everyone would be sorted out. Miracles do happen. ;-) ). Simply 'wow' moments. 

Spent the rest of the day with a close friend of mine, catching up and strolling in the late afternoon sun. It was lovely. The sun was just right; not too hot. The scenery was also magnificent; tall green trees planted neatly one after the other. The wind blew softly as if teasing the branches and beckoning them to dance.

All in all it was a lovely day.

Till the next time: Theng'e signing out!

HOLD YOUR MOUTH AND YOUR POCKET!

Everyone knows how hard it is to watch a ‘How to Cook’ programme. If you are like my friends and I, the problem is not that the program is boring, no; but that the food is way out there and we are way out here.  It is so cruel! How do these chef’s make such delicious food, miles away and we do not even get to taste it?! We can only see it and imagine how it smells and tastes. Worse still, the million dollar question, who gets to eat all that food? Where does it go after the show; especially if it is one of those shows that do not have a live audience? All that good food, going to waste? It is a pity you cannot eat with your eyes, otherwise…I need not say more.

This scenario has presented a real issue many a times; of course for my friends and me. This is where a food programme pops up on you and causes you to get into a high craving resulting in heavy dipping into your pocket to satisfy your stomach. The other day in school, while taking a break, my pals and I were watching television. What do you know, a food programme came on and since there was nothing better to view we decided to watch it. ‘Why not, what is so bad about watching how to cook? It will definitely make me a super cook and master chef of some sort.’ I thought. What a fib!

They were doing a documentary on how to make some chocolaty confectionery of some sort. I was not paying attention. It all started with a display of the ingredients and then the explanation of how to combine ingredients. I kid you not, when they got into demonstrating how to mix the ingredients, that was the beginning of our downfall.  The mixture looked so smooth reminding me of black forest, whipped cream and even milkshake! (It's a wonder what the mind can do.) It did not take long for my cravings to kick in and in high gear, if I may add. I suddenly wanted a big slice of black forest cake and a vanilla milkshake. Either or both would be fine for me and I soon echoed my desires. In little or no time, peer pressure set in. My friends were all on board: we were all in agreement. In the next hour or so (we had to wait for a friend who had heard of the plan and decided to crash in) we were so going to have a cake: a black forest cake. Note that this was irrespective of whether we had enough money or not, or whether we were breaking into accounts we were not supposed to touch. Somehow things would sort themselves out and we would get to indulge.

After eating to our hearts delight and enjoying the rich creamy treat then did the groans begin. 

‘Hey, that spending has injured my pocket. No more random plans, ’ one of my pals echoed as she checked her purse.

Yet another friend said, ‘Guys, just seeing food can do this to us? Next time we better find a cheaper way to indulge,’

It sounds funny now when you think about it. At that time, however, it was not. We had just done a spree of spending just because of seeing food. Nowadays, when I’m with friends, if any of us puts on a program that has to do with food, the instant reaction are shouts and wails to change the programme as someone quickly reaches for the remote. This is to avoid triggering cravings that will cause rumbling stomachs and dented pockets. It is like eyes-to-hand-to-pocket-to-mouth syndrome. What we see we want and now; at whatever cost even if it is unplanned for.

In as much as they say money is the root of all evil I am beginning to see a new trend. Food and money=the new roots of evil.  As soon as we see food or someone eating or even the mere mention of it, we are quick to join the club and get to eating.

A good example is when you think of having a snack but decide not to because honestly, you are not hungry. Temptation sets in when you see someone eating. It could be the snack you wanted or something remotely different from what you wanted. Whichever it is, you are quick to go get a snack. At whatever cost you must have it, at least some of it. Later after eating you regret spending that money or even if you did not spend money, you regret eating. Who needs the extra calories?

Most of us fall prey to this chain reaction whereby we gorge ourselves silly at the mere sight of food. As long as one person is doing it, ‘It’s all good-we will cost share’. Call it peer pressure, a weakness- a great big weakness; whatever you may, it is not right. The worst thing is that we are always creating excuses so as to turn a blind eye to this bad habit.

In short, my dear friend, what I am telling you to do is hold your mouth and pocket lest you over indulge and end up broke and obese.


Till the next time: Theng'e signing out!

RE-RESOLUTIONS...AHEM!

Earlier when the year began I was so excited. I felt like there was a whole lot of world to see and conquer; so many new experiences just waiting to be experienced. This was the year that I was going to break even on my resolutions, goals-call them whatever you may. This would be the year I achieve most if not all of them. Halfway down the first month that feeling quickly left me and was replaced by feelings of tension, irritation and a hint of 'I give up!'

Honestly, I had planned to do lots-action not just words, seriously. For starters I wanted to get my blog up and running consistently-that is the key word. Earlier last year I started the blog but I had nothing to show for it. I also wanted to re-jumpstart my ornament making business (at least keep it going bi-monthly). This for me would be a source of income on the side. In addition I wanted to get back to my guitar lessons and fully master that instrument then I could finally make music on my own (and without ANY restrictions.) More importantly, I wanted to grow spiritually and build my relationship with God (make it stronger). I hoped to achieve this through putting more time into Bible reading and prayer time. Sound nice, doesn’t it?

The truth of the story is that aside from the blog I haven’t started on any of my resolutions. It gets worse when I remember that I still have more goals to achieve. The blog alone is a hassle. Sometimes I do not have pieces to write or cannot access my blog and it is frustrating. The ornament business simply remains as an ambition. I don’t feel psyched or motivated to even touch a bead. Worst still are the latter two. My guitar gets out of my bag once in a while but I get bored rather quickly because I just want to get into the music making process and cut this long route to it. As for my spiritual growth I need strength and grace. I still pray when I wake up and before I sleep but that was not my goal. I wanted to be waking up early (around 6a.m. or so) and get on with Bible reading and prayer then and work on elongating the time I spend with God but laziness and flesh gets the better of me. I wake up late and spend time on other things then realize too late that the day is long gone and find that I am too tired to read the Bible. All this frustrates me and makes me wonder if I will get far in achieving my goals.

Someone may say, ‘Ay, you are worrying too much-it’s only January,’ Granted, but if I don’t get a move on, the year will go by just as fast and I will be singing the same old song, ‘Oh I didn’t get anything done-WAIL!’ The good news is that I have not lost all hope yet but have realized the serious need to strategize. Sure, anyone can have goals and resolutions and they may be lovely. However, without strategy there is nothing-doing.

My plan for this week, at least the remaining bit is to strategize and SMART.  Specific, Measurable Achievable Reachable and Timely that is, within a time frame. In addition, I want to split my goals into minor and major goals and work out the objectives to achieving them one day at a time. There is still hope and a bright year ahead(minus 13days), let’s make the most of it.  On with it then!!

 Till the next time:Theng’e signing out!

SIBLING RIVALRY

One thing I do not understand is how God created man. We can be extremely good to one another other then the next minute we become horrible: utter little devils with horns so big they reach the skies. The balance between good and bad rarely reaches an equilibrium; the bad always wins (ok may be not always but most of the time). The Bible says, "For all are sinners," not some but all. Are we beginning to see where we get some of these tendencies?


Families are wonderful things, beautiful; in fact we can refer to them as a gift from God. However, I wonder how God decides which family one will belong to and who follows who in a family. Most if not all families go through cases of sibling rivalry at one time or another. It can range from the older sibling harassing the younger the sibling and trying to 'assert' their authority in the only way they know how. Then again it can be the younger sibling bullying the older sibling and trying to prove a point or rebel against authority and the list goes on.


Sibling rivalry is mostly in the form fights: either physical or verbal or both. This rivalry can ran through childhood until adulthood and still continue through adulthood. Those who suffer the most are the weaker siblings (the one being bullied) and the parents (they have to be impartial unbiased judges and they have to listen to all the squabbles). It may seem harmless at first or over the long run but the reality is that at the end of the day two things can happen. Either the siblings can decide to forgive and forget and live in peace or they can choose to hate each other and never speak (or relate) with one another. Sounds a bit too extreme?



It is very possible and sadly this is what is happening around us. The other day I witnessed a fight between two siblings (let us call them sibling A and sibling B) and I was taken aback. It started as fun and games and 'tit-for-tat' until it went haywire. Soon words began to fly (and not niceties, mean hurtful words.) They kept throwing words at each other and one of the siblings went on and on and to a point of getting personal and inappropriate. It now became spiteful: the aim was to break the other sibling emotionally and psychologically by picking at sensitive issues that were out their control. The words that were uttered by sibling A were quite hurtful and judging from the look of things sibling B took it personally. In a matter of seconds the relationship between these two individuals changed from loving to hate.


Inside I was screaming because I was watching the destruction of a family relationship. I hoped sibling A would get some sense and stop but he did not. Instead he went on and on like a spoilt recorder. Now everything was done and what remained were feelings of anger, vengeance and resentment.

After watching the whole scenario I vowed that I will write this piece for those going through such circumstances. I am not writing to cheer the victor of the fights, neither am I supporting the acts of the weaker sibling. All I am saying is this. As people belonging to one family let us accept our roles and where we fall. Let us all treat each other with respect-from the oldest to the youngest and let us try to understand each other. Understand that we are different and be willing to be the bigger person and walk away from fights or better still, apologize.

Sibling rivalry is almost inescapable.  Agreed, we however can try to ensure that in the process (after we have cooled down or right before we get into it) we are mindful of each other. No one chose which family to be born into or whether to be born first or last; we just found ourselves there.

 Family is a gift from God so let us treat each other as such: precious gifts from God without ‘I-do- not- like -it- so- please- return- to- sender’ tags.

It’s been real, people.  I would really like to hear your comments and views.  Feel free to post them.

Till the next time: Theng’e signing out.

New Year: New Things

Today is the 3rd of Janvier 2012.  Happy New Year to one and all. Congratulations on reaching thus far.They said that this would be the year that the world would end. I guess we will just have to wait and see, won' t we?

That said, 2011 came and went. There were big bangs: both good and bad, highs and lows that left us in one state or another and to that we say 'good bye'. Now, a new year has come and for some strange reason, I and many others feel very excited and optimistic about this year.

Unlike the past years, 2012 seems to hold a lot of promise and great things in store. Targets look achievable, opportunities seem to be endless and there is a sense of purpose in the wind. People are now chanting to themselves the famous President Obama's buyline,'Yes, I can'.  Indeed, We Can- achieve all we want to and why not? We just need to determine ourselves to do so and commit it to God to see us through. For me, this is what I will be telling myself this year round,

'Yes, this is the year that I (WILL) set out on my path. GET UP on MY OWN two feet (and with GOD), stretch out and reach for the stars....and grab them. No landing on the clouds or on rooftops for me. No compromise. At least, not this year. What I say I will do, I will do- God help me.'

Miriam Mathenge. 3/01/12



Early in the morning, the rising of the sun marks the dawning of a new day. With the it comes new hopes, dreams and desires. In this year,2012, as the new days dawn in our lives may we reach out for our aspirations and truly work towards achieving them for nothing is impossible:with God eveything is possible.

Till next time: Theng'e signing out!