For Those Special People In Our Lives

Tuesday 17^th January 2012. A good good day it was. I spent the day with friends and enjoyed myself thoroughly. I texted-something I do not do, played a cool spelling game and even went shopping for a bag. I also played so PS game; some military game that was so much fun. Yay!

Today’s piece is dedicated to those people we consider special and worth calling friends.  ‘Show me your friends and I will show you who (what) you are.’  Friendship is quite an intriguing thing, there is nothing like it. It is a highly involving relationship through which one’s character and personality is shaped (or so I believe). Moreover, it so complex for it touches on emotions to a huge extent. The tricky bit about this dynamic relationship is keeping it alive and making it work while ensuring that all parties feel loved, cared for and important.

 The other day a friend of mind called me up and caught me off guard. Whereas I had been expecting a warm greeting and a few nice short exchanges he got straight to business. He told me off for going silent on him and questioned me on our friendship: if there were any grave contentious issues or whether all was well and asked for an explanation as to why I had gone quiet. He sounded hurt and angry and I did not understand why, why so much emotion. 

His main outcry was that his long standing friend went quiet on him. This was a major grievance for over the past period of time we were used to communicating frequently and keeping tabs on each other. For me to suddenly go quiet (consistently) without reason or warning was absurd: strange to him.  There had to be a reason as to why his good friend went quiet without warning. On top of that he said he felt that it was as if he was making all the effort in keeping our friendship going and he was not sure what was happening. I took some time to think about all he said and tried looking at it through his eyes and understood it somewhat.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped putting effort into my friendships. I focused purely on those who I found important and those who reciprocated the friendship. Soon after I lost interest in making and keeping friendships alive and decided that those who considered me as a priority would treat me as such so I would not bother. Please do not mistake me for being a meanie or a 'don't-care'. Not at all: that was not the case. What it was was that I was tired; physically, emotionally and pocket-wise of investing in friendships. I had simply reached the point of giving up and carrying on with life: with or without my friends.

 For so long, I put so much into all my friendships. I would always go the extra mile, call just to know how my friends were doing or to share moments. In return what did I get? Diddly-squat. Nothing. People got used to me calling and never bothered to hola (back), in fact they used me. At least that is how I felt. I felt taken for granted and got tired, frustrated and went on a ‘strike’ of my own.

 For quite a while I may have put some of my friends on a shelf tucked away for later; that is communication wise. Some of them deserved it while others did not but it happened anyway. Back to my friend, I listened keenly and re-assured him that all was well. The difference in communication patterns was due to difference in stages of life- sometimes people need space; and also the money factor.  After our little talk it got me thinking about my other friends-good friends, true friends and wondered if they felt the same. I got challenged, decided to contact some friends randomly and check on them and see what the results would be.

Boy wasn’t I happy when most of them replied! I was not expecting that outcome; I simply hoped they would respond positively. Many felt touched and appreciated the show of concern. In fact, I ended up chatting with one old friend throughout the day and spend the rest of the day with three other awesome pals. The whole experience was refreshing, eye opening and brought a smile to my face. It also made me revise my stance on going quiet on people. From now on I would work on maintaining and keeping alive my friendships=at least those that mattered to me. That is to mean that I would make those who took me as a priority in their lives, as priority in mine.

 So what did I learn from all this? One, do not take anyone for granted. It hurts both ways. Two, be careful not to get so caught up that you do not have time for your friends. This could easily result in losing a dear friend or injuring a friendship due to silly reasons. Three, take time to appreciate those special people in your life. It won’t break your bones and who knows, you may also benefit one way or another from it i.e. a better or happier or closer friendship.  Last but not least, friends are important-man is not an island that he can survive on his own.

 So, to all those good people being awesome and true friends: and who never get to hear this- you are greatly appreciated. Know you are important and someone thanks God for you (You are a blessing!).

Till the next time: Theng’e signing out!