Families are wonderful things, beautiful; in fact we can refer to them as a gift from God. However, I wonder how God decides which family one will belong to and who follows who in a family. Most if not all families go through cases of sibling rivalry at one time or another. It can range from the older sibling harassing the younger the sibling and trying to 'assert' their authority in the only way they know how. Then again it can be the younger sibling bullying the older sibling and trying to prove a point or rebel against authority and the list goes on.
Sibling rivalry is mostly in the form fights: either physical or verbal or both. This rivalry can ran through childhood until adulthood and still continue through adulthood. Those who suffer the most are the weaker siblings (the one being bullied) and the parents (they have to be impartial unbiased judges and they have to listen to all the squabbles). It may seem harmless at first or over the long run but the reality is that at the end of the day two things can happen. Either the siblings can decide to forgive and forget and live in peace or they can choose to hate each other and never speak (or relate) with one another. Sounds a bit too extreme?
It is very possible and sadly this is what is happening around us. The other day I witnessed a fight between two siblings (let us call them sibling A and sibling B) and I was taken aback. It started as fun and games and 'tit-for-tat' until it went haywire. Soon words began to fly (and not niceties, mean hurtful words.) They kept throwing words at each other and one of the siblings went on and on and to a point of getting personal and inappropriate. It now became spiteful: the aim was to break the other sibling emotionally and psychologically by picking at sensitive issues that were out their control. The words that were uttered by sibling A were quite hurtful and judging from the look of things sibling B took it personally. In a matter of seconds the relationship between these two individuals changed from loving to hate.
Inside I was screaming because I was watching the destruction of a family relationship. I hoped sibling A would get some sense and stop but he did not. Instead he went on and on like a spoilt recorder. Now everything was done and what remained were feelings of anger, vengeance and resentment.
After watching the whole scenario I vowed that I will write this piece for those going through such circumstances. I am not writing to cheer the victor of the fights, neither am I supporting the acts of the weaker sibling. All I am saying is this. As people belonging to one family let us accept our roles and where we fall. Let us all treat each other with respect-from the oldest to the youngest and let us try to understand each other. Understand that we are different and be willing to be the bigger person and walk away from fights or better still, apologize.
Sibling rivalry is almost inescapable. Agreed, we however can try to ensure that in the process (after we have cooled down or right before we get into it) we are mindful of each other. No one chose which family to be born into or whether to be born first or last; we just found ourselves there.
Family is a gift from God so let us treat each other as such: precious gifts from God without ‘I-do- not- like -it- so- please- return- to- sender’ tags.
It’s been real, people. I would really like to hear your comments and views. Feel free to post them.
Till the next time: Theng’e signing out.
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